9/24/08

Prison For Criminally Insane Opens At 48 Bond -- Oops, Them's Condos!

It's an honest mistake to confuse the newly finished - and sold out! - condos at 48 Bond with The Tombs prison or any other depressing maximum security mental or criminal facility.  It's grey - the developer likes to call it 'black' - it's cold, it's austere, and it's a perfect home for hardened, emotionless, unimaginative inhabitants who require conformity and uniformity.  No shortage of those these days!  I never thought I'd say this, but it makes Ian Schrager's 40 Bond, next door, look like an enchanting fairytale chalet - at least it has some character and individuality about it. But this stone and steel horror show at 48, is an ice-y, soulless mess and looks like a frozen storage annex for the nearby Avalon projects.  Yet, at the same time, I sort of feel sorry for it because it's so homely.  Of the four new modern structures that have risen on this block in recent years, this is definitely the ugly step-sister.  There's nothing sophisticated, elegant, or rich about it as the architect's website likes to boast.  I will agree that it's simple, modest, and complex but not in any complimentary meaning of the words.  Simple and complex?  Sure thing, Debby.

This block was once lined with the ornate mansions of New York's early aristocrats.  They would socialize on the sidewalks or on their grand stoops and promenade down Bond.  As I walk down this street today, there is little life to it other than a few restaurant patrons and a few dogs being walked.  However, there is beginning to be a bit more spillover from the frathole partiers on Bowery as several fresh puddles of vomit are almost always on the sidewalks in the mornings.  And now there's a symbol for the lifeless and vacuous who now consider themselves the new aristocracy in this neighborhood- a frigid monument to all that is shallow, transparent, and devoid of any color except their spray-on tans and blonde highlights, that is.  Welcome home to 48 Bond, Patrick Bateman!

And for bigger New York architectural disasters, click here.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh you nailed it. I hate this monstrosity. Hideous.

Anonymous said...

It makes me uncomfortable just looking at it - it looks like horrible medical experiments are going on inside.

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of those post WW2 buildings in East Germany that always looked like that kept political prisoners in or just ugly German post-war architecture, period.

EV Grieve said...

Oops. Then that bail bonds location is really going to look silly on Bond Street...and what potential for a catchy name: Bail Bonds on Bond!

Anonymous said...

I almost walked in there with my urine sample.

Anonymous said...

Russian mass housing complex, 1956.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a mausoleum - not even as inviting, in fact.